Sunday, July 17, 2011

The Big C

So today's topic isnt like me to just open up about this situation in my life, i usuaslly keep this inside and never talk about it, im really not sure why i hold it in but i do..

My mother has cancer, she has been battling this for almost 6 years now.
It first started back in 2005 when she had gotten some lumps removed in her breast.
Then the results came back that it was stage 3 cancer. Soon after the surgery she had to get regular check up to see if the cancer was to come back or not, and around 2008 sometime the cancer had returned but this time, it was in her liver, soon after mom had surgery and had half of her liver removed, they say your liver, is the only organ that can reproduce itself and grow back.
who would have thought?

Soon after her surgery she started chemo right away (Yes, my mother did loose her hair, it killed me inside seeing her that way, with no hair, bald, but You know what she was BEAUTIFUL)
and after chemo was radation.
MOM was not a fan of the radation part, the side effexcts sucked,
made her taste metal everytime she ate or drank.
made her feet and hands itch, and turn bright red.

Then, after the all the chemo and radation Mom was clear for the first time.
life was better, we were ready to start fresh from this experience we have had.

But in April 2010 soon after moms back started to hurt
and her chest, mom went back for a regualr check up,
 and mom had spots in her chest, liver, and back.
So she started chemo again,
Then mom completely went into a seriously bad state of depression, she didnt eat,
all she did was sleep, she was litterally just wasting away.
So one day, while i was visiting my mother, i told her Mom, do u want to die?
do u want to be here when Emiley Graduates? Do u want to be here when i get married?
She just looked at me with a blank face. I told her that she looked exactly the way my grandpa looked before he died. i told my mom i loved her and was here with her through this battle.
Soon after that talk mom perked up and was herself again, she had color, faith, and this empowerment to her.

After the other round of radtion and chemo, Mom was once again in the clear.

Well mom was in the clear for almost one year until the beginning of July mom wnet back to the Doctor
again complaing of her back hurting we all were hopeing and praying she just pulled a muscle but,
this wasnt the case of a pulled muscle.

It was once agian The Big C word.
Well mom started Chemo once again Thursday July 14 2011.
But the best part is, that it is only like 3 spots that she needs to get rid of.

i think God everyday that its not spread everywhere in her body,
because this could be the case but it isnt.
God blesses us in mysterious ways, some bad some good, but in all
we all learn from whatever it may be.

I dont want pity or anything, because im now OK with this,
because my mother has beat it more then once and she can do it again.
i just want prayers and faith sent our way.

I feel truly blessed that i have her as a mom, she is a strong, loving, and independent Woman.
and i too hope to be just like her when i grow up.

we have faith.