Thursday, March 3, 2011

Oh Happy day.....

Today hasn't been so much of a happy day, not sure why i used this as a title...but maybe it will help my mood get better.

I guess my deal is I'm getting nervous, stressed, anxious, worried about this whole wedding thing. Don't get me wrong I'm by far extremely excited to marry Rusty, I'm just hoping my expectations for the wedding will be the way i picture it in my dreams. I'm only gonna get married once, so either he is stuck with me or...well....u know the other. I'm just gonna say I DON'T believe in divorce, through good times and bad right? Now a days they just make it too easy to fall in love, and fall out.

here is an example:

I was engaged at one time in my life, to a guy named Evan, i was a Junior in HS, and he was a Senior in HS. We were together for three years, then he asked me to marry him, well i was 19 at the time he proposed, about be to 20. I then later realized i was just too young to take on such a BIG commitment at that point and time in my life (i was just too young.) and i broke it off, whats a girl to do at that age? (plus his mother hated me from some reason? never really figured out why, but that's another story and time)
I was confused emotionally, i was still immature, and my main problem is i hadn't experienced life as a single adult in the world. (also he was very controlling and very emotionally abusive.) He eventually went to marry someone else and they had a child, i don't know how he is too her, but i hear stories from her Sister-in-law. (weird yes me and Courtney are very good friends.)

I think to myself, THANK YOU Lord for moving me to a different path and blessing me with an awesome Hubby to Be, and sweet Blondie baby boy, my life isn't perfect NOR is Rust, but we work it out, move on, and enjoy being alive and breathing.

Im sorry i just rambled on about nothing, and my past but i felt crappy today and this was on my mind.


as i leave i will leave u with a picture of my sweet boy.